I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize