So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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