my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
