its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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