youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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