...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Semen is not good for contacts.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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