So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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