According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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