I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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