Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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