the new term for farting is butt boxing.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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