we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I feel like a drive thru vagina
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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