happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The uberlube is also flammable
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
