69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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