If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
