PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
