I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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