her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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