When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
