The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Randomize
