Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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