She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
