Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
This house was built for laser tag.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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