I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize