we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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