If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
