she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
