im about as happy as oj after his trial
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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