Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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