Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Why is your signature on my underwear?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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