love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
