He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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