She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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