I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Dignity is for republicans.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize