I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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