my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
