wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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