i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
