Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
