Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
