So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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