people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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