I cockslap morals
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
