Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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