My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
