she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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