grandma shit on top of the toilet
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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