The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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