WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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