I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize