is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
