Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
