Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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