Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
she pinky promised me she was 18
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
