"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
