id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
