Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
