I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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