I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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